I am a trash

I've become a trash man again. I know what I am saying now.

I am wasting too much time to play a computer game. Like hours a day, I play LoL and Freestyle Football. I don't do anything productive and valuable to me. Even applying a job isn't the thing I do.

Why do I do that? What is the reason?
It's because I want to avoid streeful things. Writing a resume and self-introduction sheet need quite a bit more energy than normal things. So my brain doesn't wanna do that. This is what makes me play a computer game like forever.

Thing is I feel blue after playing games. I feel like I am a trash. If things that I need to do are done, I will be alright even though I play games for hours. But I am just wasting time.

Look at myself. I am 30 years.................. Oh my god......
I know what I should do..

I made a plan. Everyday I am going to make a list what I need to do. If I have things remained, I am not going to play games. This is a trust appointment with myself.

Dream who I want to be and just don't give up myself.
Jk. Let's go!

I am really depressed

I am depressed now.
here is a story.

There was a likely chance to get a job. The team manager JS in EC21 recommended I and BK to have interview chances there. We both had a interview and our manager said to each of us that he would hand out our resumes to the boss. The thing remained was to wait for calling from EC21.

Some days passed, I heard BK got a call. He asked me whether I recieved calling from EC21 or not. I didn't get a call at all. Eventually, BK passed the last interview with the boss and is waiting the day of being a officer.

This is the reason that makes me depressed. Actually, there might be no reason making me feel blue. But I have bad feeling about me of not having that chance. I feel like I am lonely and I am doing something wrong.

sigh...
I played computer games for many hours to make me feel better. It's really dumb way to release my stress. To solve my problem, I wasted time....

AHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH...........

Give me the energy..
Plz raise me up...

What should I do?

to get a higher score of TOEIC

That is the goal of this month for me.
To get a job, I need to get the score of 930 at least.

I have 10 days. I am gonna try to think in English as much as possible.
And To improve English skill, being exposed to English is essential.

1. I will do a free practice test provided by Hackers a day.
2. I will listnen to Steve Hatherly Show everyday.

Okay. Let's go!